Monday 29/09/03
Mum, Dad, Jaz, & All You Gooues! WOWEE!! xx
I'm in the final!! I never thought I'd get this far y'know.
When I first came here I knew it would be hard, but I never
expected to have all these emotions & feelings for so
many differing things. I have had the best time of my life
in here, but also some of the hardest. The not knowing and
the lack of contact with you guys has been a real test for
me.
I've found out things I like about myself and things I don't.
It really is like holding a mirror up to myself. Thank you
so much for being so supportive towards me. When I say I'm
the luckiest girl in the world to have a family like you
I meant it with all my heart. Looking up at you all every
week makes me feel so proud! Saying I love you all so much
doesn't seem to describe it enough for me. You all mean
the world to me and I hope you've enjoyed this experience
as much as I have.
Sorry about the phone bill by the way! He he!! I'll make
it up to you, I promise. Looking forward to seeing Jaz this
week. I've really missed her not being there. Only a few
more weeks until I get my cuddles tho! I'm so so so excited
about seeing you all I've got butterflies! Hope ya had a
nice time in Spain Jaz, I've been thinking about ya. Can
ya believe how long I've been away for? Can't seem to get
my head around it. Does feel longer tho. Not sure what the
public get to see, but we all have worked really hard mentally
and physically. In fact, today's the only day we've had
to rest. Me, Alex & Ali have been asleep most of the
day. Really needed it tho. Bet Kevin's class tomorrow is
going to be a real killer. He's told us he's got a new set
of songs to do the running to. Wonder how long they will
be. Reckon it's the Elton John medley from last year!
It's so strange it just being the three of us left. Really
quiet. Me & Pete knew all week that it would be us both
in the bottom two. Saw it coming ages ago. Did find that
bit real hard. Didn't want either of us to go. It wasn't
nice at all.
Mum, sorry about the phone call last week. Just got a little
paranoid about things. My pattern of thoughts in here keep
going a bit mad. I've said B4 how strange it is not knowing
anything but it really is easy to go a little stir crazy!
Twelve weeks is a very long tome. Don't worry about the
list to come because they are working but everyone's welcome.
Think I'm allowed 30 or something. Maybe you could call
Lee Cannon & ask if he wants to come. Maybe Graham or
some of the songwriters I've been working with (Alan, Mark,
Toddy, Shanti).
Read Part Two...
Tell Jemma I'm looking forward to seeing her. If she can't
get a flight then not to worry, I'll catch up with her soon
as the little bird is around. Doubt Orry will give Jess
& James both the night off work but you never know.
I've put them all on my list just in case. Can't wait to
see them all. Tell Uncle Mick and Sam, thank you for coming.
It was good to see Richard - give them both a huge kiss
& hug from me. Nana looked lovely again. Were you drunk
mother??! Me & Pete were laughing at you being daft
over the bar. Couldn't understand a word you were saying...
Looked funny tho!! Ha!
Daddy Happy Birthday To You! I'm so so so sorry I 4got!
I don't even know what day it was I'm so sorry! Hope you've
seen the sign I've put up in my room for you. After the
show I was doing an interview with Claudia for BBC3 and
I heard them all singing Happy Birthday so I asked whose
Bday it was and she said... your DAD'S!! OOPS! I'll get
you a cool prezzie when I get out of here. The new Leeds
Utd shirt eh?!! xx Give Mum a big kiss on her birthday from
me. Can't tell ya how excited I am about seeing you all
on Sat. Think I'll probably eat you, Mum & Jaz alive!!
Not sure how weird it's gonna be when I'm home. It's hard
to even believe that anyone's even watching. Mum, remember
the week B4 I came in here & we were shopping at the
White Rose Centre and imagined everything afterwards? Still
can't imagine it being like that. But then again, we've
got an album out in a week or so! How crazy is that!! WOW!!
Not long now! Love ya to the sky & back. See ya in less
than a week. Woaw, Caz x.
Nana - Thank you for coming to most of the shows. Tell
Richard thank you too. Missed ya millions and can't wait
for my big nana squeeze! See ya soon. Love your princess!!
xx
Kez, Scott, Karen, Gary - Hiya babes. Final 3 eh!! Wow!!
Can't really believe it. It's been tough but well worth
it already. Thank you for coming to lots of the shows. I've
loved looking up at you guys every week. I know it doesn't
sound like much when I say it, but it really has got me
through the weeks knowing what I wicked family I have to
come home to. Love ya all loads! See ya soon cheeky bums!!
Love Caz xx
Nannie + Fran - Hey you two! Hope you're having a fab holiday!
Don't have too much fun without me. Looking forward to getting
all the gossip when I see you. Hope you both behaved yourselves.
No more tattoos I hope Nannie!! Thank you for my lovely
cards and letters. Tell Jan thanx too, I put it on my wall.
Give her a kiss from me. Love ya both loads. See ya soon.
Caz xx
Jess - How many more sleeps is it now bird!!? Been missing
ya millions. Hope ya can get it off work this week. On MY
GOD!! Final 3, wot's that all about then? Wot's going on
bird, how the heck did this all happen!! Even presented
an award to Robbie Williams last week. Can ya imagine it...
me.... "and the nominations are!" Wot the heck
ey!! I just stood there and looked out at the audience;
Diana Ross, Marti Pellow, Seal, Lulu, Bob Geldof, Stevie
Nicks... wot was I doing there! You would've laughed your
head off. Can't wait to take you, Jaz & Jemma to some
of these things. You can't go wrong with free drink now
can ya! Starting to feel the cameras now tho! I know...
It's only taken me ten bl**dy weeks, but I'm just starting
to realise that yeah, I am going to have to be semi well
behaved. People take photos all the time! I've got loads
of lovely letters from people tho. You'll have to read some
of them when I'm home. People even wait places for me to
have a little chat, or give me something. Like outside places,
or train stations. How flattering is that! Looking forward
to our crazy night out tho. Where do ya wanna go... Leeds
or Manchester. Both??! Be a good one anyway! If ya see Danny
B4 you come on Saturday, tell him I said HI, also will ya
remind my Mum to bring my phone and wallet for me. Hope
I can remember how to text! Ha! See ya soon bird. Can't
wait to get all the goss from you. I'm sooo excited! You
better be looking after yourself bird!! Love u, Caz xx
Jemma - Hey bird! Got your other letter. Thanx babe! Hope
you can make it this weekend. If ya can't then not to worry,
plenty of time to catch up. Miss ya millions tho and can't
wait to see ya. Hope Simon's well, and don't be too mean
to him! He! Y'know what us birds are like, especially me
& you! So much to tell ya. Can't wait. See ya soon.
Love me x
Lucy Jo - Thank you so much for my prezzies! I love 'em
to bits. I wore my ring to the Capital Awards and lots of
people commented on it. Can't wait to catch up with ya babes.
Thanx for coming to the Trafford Centre too. It was so wicked
to see everyone there! How cool was that card you gave me
by the way! It really gave me the giggles! Ta babes! See
ya soon sweet cheeks, hope everything's going well at work.
xx
Jaz MISS YOU TOO MUCH BABES. LOVE YOU MILLIONS! SEE YOU
SOON! Can't wait to hear what it is you've got to tell me!!
Hope your hol was wicked. See ya soon, love Caz x
Everyone who's voted for me!
Thank you so so so so much. Everyone's support has been
unbelievable. I can't tell you how much it means to me.
No matter what happens this week, I'm singing for everyone
who has voted for me. I've loved every minute of it, highs
& lows! Thank you again. Hopefully you'll see me soon,
love Carolynne xxx
